Intro & a Quick Nod to Morning Sickness

So my friend is contemplating pregnancy and it got me started thinking about tips to give her. I quickly realized that there are a whole lot of things about pregnancy and babies that I didn’t know before going through it several times. It reminded me of the famous line in Gone with the Wind – “I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies!” I’ve put the highlights here in this blog.  I've personally been through two pregnancies and will not be undertaking the task again. It's time for daddy to be snip-snipped!

Pregnancy can really suck. There, I said it. It might not be that way for everyone, but most women feel ashamed to admit that pregnancy was downright B-A-D. If you are glowing, it’s because your forehead has more oil than a chicken fryer from your crazy hormones. Then comes the wonderful world of GOOGLE. You will swear you are going to birth a two-headed alien baby that will be two-months overdue. It will come, it won't be an alien, but thanks Google for not letting me go to bed until 2am!

So what's the scoop on the nitty-gritty of pregnancy joy?  The be-all and end-all for months on end?

Well.....a majority of women experience morning sickness. By now you probably have heard that it’s all day sickness....but what you may not know is that it doesn’t end with vomiting up everything you’ve ate that day (or your stomach lining). No, the real fun comes from vomiting so hard that you break open capillaries on your face and it looks like you’ve been stuck by a couple dozen porcupine quills. Then the dehydration (because everything makes you gag) sets in, and you can barely get out of bed. If you do get out of bed, it’s because you dragged yourself out of it to puke more. Then all the puking/dehydration makes you have fuzzy head. It’s like the worst hangover ever. For months on end, but just remember not to take any real medications because they can harm the baby! (No joke, THIS is why there will be no more kids in this house. However it’s a great way to lose weight quickly in the beginning!)

Some women do not have morning sickness. I hate you all. (I'm secretly a jealous horned beastie)